I think this is the first time I’ve ever literally considered walking into my parents’ room, grabbing my step-dad’s gun, and blowing my fucking brains out.
Nobody really knows anything about me or my life.
I’m fucking done. I’m done caring. I’m done eating. I’m done drinking. I’m doing all the drugs I can afford. I’m done giving a fuck about being alive. Fuck it.
Everything’s so fucking hard now. I don’t even know what to do. That’s why tomorrow I’m just going to do what I did the past two days and get completely fucked off my pills. So much easier.
Making love to Frank Ocean is really fucking wonderful.
She doesn’t understand how much last night fucking changed. I don’t wanna see her, knowing that I made her cry all night. And I don’t wanna have sex with her now that she brought up my ex and shit. And it has nothing to do with her, I just fucking disgust myself. I dunno.
Two months ago today, I woke up next to the most beautiful girl I’ve ever laid eyes on. It wasn’t the first time, but this time it was different; she was mine. <3.
Parents really fucking piss me off with how they think they know everything and completely ignore their fucking kids.
You cut? — You just want attention.
You starve yourself? — You must just think you’re not hungry.
You’re gay? — It’s just a phase.
You do drugs? — You’re a criminal and you should be treated as such.
You have sex? — You’re an irresponsible whore.
You have insomnia? — Get more sleep at night.
You’re depressed? — Stop being a crybaby and grow the fuck up.
You have anxiety? — Calm down; stop worrying about everything.
You’re in love? — You’re just young and naive; you don’t know what love is.
Yeah? Well, guess what. It’s a new fucking generation. We mature faster. And we’re pretty fucked up. You don’t know what’s going through our heads. It’s not the same as back when you were a teenager. So when your kid is trying to tell you something really personal, shut your fucking face and actually fucking listen for once.
I fucking hate my parents. So fucking controlling. Whether I’m trying to be a good friend, a good boyfriend, or whatever, they have to fucking get in the way. They’re holding me back. I can’t wait until I turn eighteen. Coz everything’s fucking falling apart.